Musings, Ramblings, and Mumblings

Swing swing little bubby

2009-04-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy I could cry!!!! Carolyn has decided that she does, in fact, like her swing again. (We went through a period of great disdain for the swing much to Mommy's great dismay!!) Yesterday, she chilled in her swing alternating between napping and staring at the bear mobile for about 45 minutes. That allowed me to actually unpack some boxes. Holy crap, my clothes are now hanging in the closet. That's right, they're no longer crumpled up in a box on the floor... Good times!!!

Today, she actually seemed happy when I put her in it. Happy!!! Her swing!!!!! This gives me great hope that her Daddy and I may be able to score some alone time tomorrow if she'll hang out in her swing. Now, if we can just remember what goes where, all will be right in the universe. :)

My little Mousie is getting to be such a big girl! She'll be 7 weeks old on Tuesday.. 7 weeks! Holy crapwinkies, where has the time gone?!? She got her big-girl pictures taken at Sears last week. I put them up on myspace if anyone wants to see them. They turned out quite cute and she was SUCH a good girl!!! There were a few touch and go moments where I thought she was going to melt down. But, she held it together really well and the results were fabulous!!!! She also had her picture taken with the Easter Bunny. I still need to scan those pictures... Of course, it would be super helpful if the pc was working... Oh well, can't have everything, can we?

I had my 6 week follow up appointment w/my OBGYN on Tuesday. It went really well. He said I've healed super well! He also told me that we're going to have to do something about my fibroid at some point so Chris and I need to have another kid sooner rather than later. Apparently, once he takes the fibroid out, it increases my chances of uterine rupture if we get pregnant after the procedure. That's not to say we can't have kids after I have it done.. it's just better if we have our munchkins before. So, I'm going in for an ultrasound on Friday so we can see where it's at size-wise, etc. Once we see where we're at, we'll work out a time frame for trying to have our next kiddo. In the meantime, however, I'm getting an IUD put in. Whoo-hoo, no nasty pill for me!!!

Yeah, this was all over the place.. But, damn it, I typed it with two hands, without a baby in my lap... Hooray for progress!!!

Step Away from my Daughter w/that Needle!!!

2009-03-16T17:15:00.000-07:00

Little Mouse got her first shot today. I think I was more concerned about it than she was!! Granted, she let everyone in the greater Burbank area know that she had been given said shot.... She had the nurse cracking up because her scream was so drawn out. I swear it felt like she didn't inhale for a solid 30 seconds. That kid has a set of pipes on her!!!! My other kid, Chris, was a big brave dog for his DPT booster... I'm sure he's bummed that he didn't get a lollipop for his efforts.

Mousey weighs 10 lbs 12 oz, she's 22 1/2" long and her head has increased about an inch in circumference. She's in the 95th percentile for height and weight. Her doctor was super impressed with how amazingly perfect she is. (Note: My head no longer fits through the door b/c my daughter is so "amazingly perfect".. His words, not mine.)

Yesterday I was concerned b/c, in my estimation, she wasn't pooping enough. She was straining and generally pissed off at her condition so I lubed up the thermometer and took her temperature to get things going. (For those not 'in the know' when it comes to baby butts and all matters relating to pooping, if you put a thermometer in their bum they poop.) About an hour later the fecal avalanche came issuing forth. Well, this afternoon, we had avalanche part deux. No thermometer required. So, it's my sad duty to inform everyone that at 5:00 pm PST Elmo went to the big Sesame Street in the sky. He was minding his own business, just chilling out on the front of Carolyn's diaper. Now, he's covered in poop. RIP Elmo.. you were a great guy and you did a good job protecting Chris' chest from the poop-storm that Carolyn unleashed.

We're slowly making progress unpacking the new apartment. Some day, I swear, we'll be done. But, even with box-hell, I love the new place. It has so much more room and it's just way nicer in general than our old place.

Life is good :)

Little Mouse, Little Mouse

2009-03-15T13:45:00.001-07:00

Carolyn will be one month old on Tuesday. My God, where has the time gone?! She's such a cool little lady and I feel so blessed to be her Mommy. Admittedly, there are times when she's a bit of a challenge... She refuses to be put down and she goes through spurts where she wants to nurse every 20 minutes. But I just take a deep breath and kiss her little head and the frustration passes.

We are, however, making progress: The fact that I'm getting to type this with two hands is HUGE. She's currently asleep, on her back (shock and awe!!) partially on me and partially on her Boppy pillow. She nurses like a champ now. That's part of the reason why I don't get annoyed when she wants to nurse so often. We went through so much to get the hang of nursing that I can't complain when that's all she wants to do.

She loves to play!!! She smiles and coo's and makes faces and flails her arms with such pure glee that it could make you cry. It's so great! She's also really liking her Fisher Price Rain forest Tummy Time Gym. There's a mirror hanging from the giraffe's mouth and she gets transfixed looking at her own face.

And she loves loves loves bath time. Sitting in warm water is a huge hit with this kid. Granted, we have to start out with a small amount of water b/c she always pees as soon as her tushy hits the water. So, we drain the pee-water out and get fresh bath water and let her have her fun.

She has her one month doctor appointment tomorrow. Chris and I have to get more shots. This time around we're getting out DPT boosters. Last appointment we got our flu shots. I'm curious to see how much she's grown. This kid can drain a boobie, and suck down a bottle like no one's business. So, I'm sure she's becoming a super-chunk!!!

She must have sensed me typing boobie. She's starting to wake up for her feeding. Argh, she's so cute I can't stand it!!!!

A week already?!

2009-02-25T11:43:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Carolyn turned 1 week old. My Little Mouse will be asking me for the car keys before I know what's hit me!

Her umbilical stump fell off yesterday. She nursed on the left side for a good 15 minutes (she still hates the right side. We're still working on a mutually pleasing position for the right breast).

My Aunt Patti flies in today and tomorrow my Dad will be here. All of Carolyn's adoring fans are descending upon us. Poor kid is going to be so blinded by camera flashes she'll think the paparazzi have invaded our living room.

It's tough being that cute.

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!

2009-02-24T12:06:00.000-08:00

Carolyn had her first official appointment with her Pediatrician yesterday morning. *drum-roll please* Her jaundice levels are officially under control!!!!!!!! Her Dr. said he wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't dropped drastically between Sunday and Monday. She doesn't have to go back to the hospital for any more nasty heel-sticks. He said she's a perfect, healthy, beautiful little girl. (Not that I needed confirmation on the beautiful part).

She had her first sponge bath at home last night. She was not a happy camper and showed her angst by peeing all over her Mommy and Daddy. Once she was all wrapped up in her Bunny-Princess hooded towel all was right in her little world.

I know I've promised pictures. And I WILL post them. It's just been hard with all of the new things going on at home.

She had her first outing today. We took her to Toys R Us with us to buy a few baby items. I wore her in my Sleepy Time baby wrap and she loved it!!! She slept like a champion the whole time. Her Mommy loved it because I could use both hands to shop.

And now, I'm off to finish my breakfast (at noon) and hopefully grab a shower. Ahh, the simple joys in life.

My Little Mouse

2009-02-22T12:04:00.000-08:00

Carolyn Jane Lee-Sye was born at 8:16pm PST on February 17th, 2009 at Providence St. Joseph Medical Center. She came roaring into the world at a scale-tipping 9lbs and 21" long. She entered the world telling everyone who would listen exactly how she felt about being ripped from her nice warm little world and brought into our cold, bright element. She was the most beautiful pink color you could ever dare to hope for. She has a good head of dark brown hair, what appear to be dark blue eyes, and the most beautiful face you've ever seen. (Not that her Mommy could ever be biased, right?)

So, the labor story.. We went in on Tuesday morning for the doctor to begin the induction process at 6:00am. We checked in and were taken to my labor and delivery room where they checked my vitals, hooked up the fetal heart monitor and contraction monitor belts, started my IV fluid line, and finally did an ultrasound to confirm that she was still, in fact, head-down. After they finished all of the prep work, they started my Pictocin drip to get us rolling.

I started having some very low-level contractions within about an hour of the Pictocin. Thankfully, I didn't really feel them at all. If anything, they felt like a tightening sensation. Chris had a grand ole time watching the monitors and telling me when I was getting ready to start a contraction. I think it made him feel like he had a role (kind of hard to be an active participant when you lack a vagina).

So, fast-forward to about an hour later, my nurse comes in to check my dilation and effacement... I really liked her until she went elbow deep and started pushing around. I was pretty certain she was going to come out of my throat. As I found out later, Labor and Delivery nurses are notorious for not being gentle when they check you. I seriously wanted to kick her in the face!

Around 9:30am my doctor came in to check my dilatation, I was about 2- 1/2cm at that point. So, he broke my water (I'll never look at a crochet hook the same again!!), upped my drip and told me he'd see me later. He also talked to me about an epidural which I was totally against at that point. He just kind of laughed and said okay we'll see how you feel about that later.

I started having more intense contractions after he broke my water but still wasn't really in pain. Chris was really great and stayed with me the whole time and chatted with me about the baby, how I was feeling, etc. I could tell he was nervous because he was way more chatty than I was. Hard to believe, I know!!!

At 4:30 my doctor came back to check on me. By this point, I was having some menstrual-like cramps and some mild discomfort. He checked my cervix and deemed that I was 4cm at that point. As he left I heard him tell my nurse that I was starting active labor. I didn't think too much of it at that point. Within maybe 1/2 an hour, I was having some really serious and painful contractions. I was able to breathe through them for almost 2 hours. Then, they got so frequent and intense that I just couldn't get on top of them to manage the pain. Chris was looking more and more worried. I was super quiet during my contractions but I guess the color was draining from my face and my legs were shaking. So, we made the decision together that I needed to get something for the pain as it could go on for 6 or more hours and I needed to be able to focus when it came time to push. My doctor came back in shortly after I received the epidural and checked my cervix again. I made it to a very respectable 6cm before I asked for the epidural.

The epidural was heaven!!!!! It made things so much better!!!! I was able to rest and relax and just let my body do what it needed to do. It was so effective that I went from 6cm to 9cm in less than 2 hours. So, around 7, they called my doctor and told him I'd be ready to push sometime very soon. He came in, checked me, told me he was going to go do a c-section next door and he'd come back and we'd have our baby within the next hour and a half to two hours. My nurse came in and did some repositioning with me to help the baby come into my pelvis as much as possible so we wouldn't have to push much. She was NOT kidding when she said I'd know when it was time b/c it would feel like I had to poop a watermelon.

My doctor came back in at 8, and we started pushing her out very slowly.. To try to allow me to stretch to birth her with as little tearing as possible, etc. By 8:16, she was here.

That's when things started to go side-ways... Apparently, my pelvis is very short and my vaginal to rectal spacing is very small.. Thus, I am not built to have a 9lb baby. Carolyn pretty much destroyed me coming out. The doctor spent a good 30 minutes sewing me back up. While he was recreating what will someday hopefully be a vagina again, I was staring at my daughter in the warmer and just crying over how much I love her and how beautiful she is. I finally got to hold her and then my aunts came in for a few minutes before they took her to the nursery to evaluate her further....

I was supposed to stay in the recovery room for about two hours and then be moved upstairs to my room where Carolyn would join us. Well, I was bleeding more and more and they couldn't figure out where it was coming from or why so they decided to keep me downstairs for a couple of extra hours.. No problem... They told me Carolyn could come back into the recovery room as soon as they were done w/her in the nursery. I kept sending Chris to be with her in the Nursery and take pictures.. I knew I wasn't feeling right... I kept passing out/falling asleep and I'd wake up really disoriented... They kept coming in and checking me and still no answer about the bleeding except it was still there and they didn't know why. Eventually, they start whispering amongst themselves about a blood transfusion, they slam a shot into my hip to try to stop the bleeding. My epidural had worn off by this point so I felt every poke and prod... Around 12:30 they tell me that my Doctor is coming back to the hospital to look at me. I asked them if I should be concerned and they wouldn't give me a straight answer. At this point Chris is getting really worried but I keep telling him it's fine. I start to get pissed b/c I haven't seen Carolyn in almost 4 hours and I realize that things are not good. I kept thinking, "I need to know what's happening b/c if I'm not okay she can't grow up thinking this was her fault!!!!"

So, my doctor comes back in, takes one look at me and starts yelling at people. He wants to knock me out but the other doctor said she would need an OR to do that and there isn't time for that, etc.. So, they invert me, and start stitching and packing and suctioning me like crazy. All the while, I'm feeling EVERYTHING!!!! Long story short, Carolyn is the last baby I'll have vaginally.. I was bleeding out from a couple of places that she ripped on her way out. They ended up packing me and keeping me downstairs overnight. They checked my blood pressure every 15 minutes, drew blood every few hours, etc to make sure I didn't need a transfusion.

Finally, the next morning, I was able to move upstairs to my room and have my baby with me full-time!!!! I was confined to the bed for most of the day so it was really frustrating to not be able to change her diapers, get up when she cried, etc. Chris was really great though and took care of both Carolyn and me.

The next day, my doctor took out the packing, the catheter, the iv, everything else and told me that I could go home on Saturday if everything progressed as it should. Which it did for the most part. I was fine... Carolyn, however, developed her own set of issues. Apparently, she was faking us all out with her breastfeeding. We'd had some issues getting her to latch correctly but thought she'd been feeding enough. Turns out, we were wrong. She has jaundice (which most babies are born with.. but her levels keep going up not down). So, we're pumping breast milk, supplementing with formula in an attempt to get her peeing much much more. Now that we're home and on a schedule it seems to be going well. She's had to go back to the hospital twice now for heel sticks but we're hoping her first post-hospital check-up will go well tomorrow.

Other than that, she's a perfectly happy, healthy baby. She makes noises like she's swallowed a mouse so her Daddy and I call her Mouse. She loves to snuggle. She hardly ever cries. Everyone who has seen her says she looks like a baby-model.

I know that what I went through was pretty horrific but honestly, I'd do it all again, she's so much more than I ever dared to hope for. I never knew that I could love someone so much. It honestly feels like my heart could burst from all of the love I have for her.

I'll post pictures soon.

For now, I'm off to take a nap with my daughter.

xoxoxo
Nicole

Holy Crapwinkies!

2008-12-14T19:48:00.001-08:00

My girlfriend, Morgan, came over on Saturday to hang out and chat. I have to say, I love love love Morgan! I was in my pj's the whole time, worked on baby projects, and chatted with her. There was no obligation to 'do something' or go anywhere. My only complaint as the time went so incredibly fast that it was time for her to go home and make dinner before we knew it!!! So, we were talking about the baby, etc and I said something to the effect of "I'll be 30 weeks pregnant on Monday which means she could be here in 5 weeks and not have to go to the NICU right after she's born." I kind of trailed off mid-sentence and Morgan started laughing, "It just hit you that you're actually having a baby, didn't it?!!" She was right. I mean, of course I've had ultrasounds, Carolyn kicks and tumbles around like crazy, I've bought little outfits for her, a crib, etc.. But that sentence, something about the fact that in 5 weeks she could come without any drama... Wow!!!

As if I needed further tangible proof to drive the reality home, we bought diapers today. Wow.. Diapers for a little bum.... Diapers which I will change.. After feeding my daughter... I'm having a baby... Wow....

The things only your girlfriends will tell you about pregnancy

2008-11-23T14:35:00.000-08:00

On Friday, I had lunch with my girlfriend Jennifer and she told me she and her hubby are pregnant as well. I just about peed my pants -Granted, these days, I sneeze I pee, I laugh too hard I pee, I cough I pee- I was so excited for them!

As we sat down to lunch, I launched into my spiel of things I wanted her to know so she wouldn't freak out and think that there's something wrong, the baby's dead, etc... Once I got home, I realized I most likely totally overwhelmed her with information (and I hope I didn't scare the ever-loving-hell out of her w/all of the "fun" things I told her!!!????!!). So, I started compiling a list in my head of all of the things I told her/should have told her/don't remember if I told her... I also thought it might be fun for me to go back and read this once Carolyn is here and I'm going through a whole new facet of pregnancy... dealing w/the baby!!!

So, here it is, in all of its glory. The list of things that only your girlfriends will tell you about pregnancy:

* You get really freaky discharge. If you're not comfortable with dealing with/talking about things like discharge... don't have a baby until you've made peace with it. It will be super thick, and white, and you'll think there is something really odd going on down there. Relax, it's good. It keeps out icky bacteria and foreign objects, etc.

* If you get this weird crampy feeling on the sides of your abdomen/groin area you're not having a miscarriage. It's most likely just all of the ligaments and muscles beginning to stretch out. Believe me, your ligaments, muscles, internal organs are in for some fun shifting!!

* You will have to pee every 7 seconds. If you go somewhere new, your first order of business should be to locate the nearest restroom. It's like knowing where the emergency exit is on a plane. You may not think it's important information, but if you do encounter an emergency, it's a handy bit of information.

* You're going to be a cup-of-crazy. Maybe not all of the time... Maybe not even very often.. But the crazy will strike. Most of the time when you least expect it. And your husband, baby daddy, boy friend, whatever will never react exactly the way you, in your full-tilt crazy hormonal moment, think he should. Try to avoid flipping out around sharp, or heavy blunt, objects. It will make your apology a lot more tricky when you return to normal-town.

* Drink lots of water. If you're saying, "Oh, but I already drink sooo much water that's not a problem," shut-up and get ready to double that water intake. Yes, you will pee more (duh!). But, it will also help reduce the swelling in your hands and ankles, and it will help prevent the dreaded and super-ouchy round ligament pain that you'll become oh-so familiar with later in your pregnancy.

*Certain smells will make you feel pukey like you've never been in your entire life. Personally, I can now smell a cigarette from 20 miles away. It's like a way more annoying Spidey-sense. I suggest carrying around some lotion or some body spray that makes you happy. It really does help combat the sudden onset of "oh my god, I'm going to puke right now!!!"

*Resist the urge to punch people in the face (not to be confused with the above mentioned cup-of-crazy moments). For whatever reason, perfect strangers will feel the need to tell you HORRIBLE stories about other people's pregnancies. Smile, nod, and only scream at them inside your head... This takes some practice so if you do actually tell someone off, chalk it up to practice and try harder next time. Trust me, there will be a next time. The same rule applies when people that you're really not that close to touch your stomach. Um, hello? Do I walk up to you and grab your boobs?!? No? Then don't touch me!!! You'll quickly learn who can and who cannot do this to you without the urge to punch rising up... Fight the urge...

*Do you enjoy pooing like a normal person? Yeah, when you're pregnant, not so much... Fiber is your friend, plus all that extra water I mentioned... good times...

* No hot baths. No hot tubs. Nothing that could raise your core temp too high. You've heard, "I have a bun in the oven". Don't jack up the heat on the oven...

*Sex will not hurt the baby. (Unless your doctor tells you that you have a unique situation) Sex is fine. But, rest assured, he's going to think he'll poke the baby's eye out, the baby will know what's going on.. etc... If this were true, we'd all be emotionally scared, one eyed, freaks.

And, since I have to pee for the 1,000th time today, I'll end the list here...

Flutters, Kicks, and Tumbles

2008-11-11T21:11:00.000-08:00

Kelly has twisted my arm (read: casually asked me if I still blog) and I decided to give it a go. Normally, I seriously lack the discipline to actually maintain a blog. (Hello?! 4 partially filled journals anyone?!) But, I figured since I'm about to embark on what could possibly be the most significant journey of my life - giving birth to my sweetpea Carolyn- I'd at least give it the old "college try" as they say.

So, with much trepidiation, at least an ounce of reserve and my daughter kicking, bumping, and tumbling about in my tummy I embark on my journey. I cannot promise wit, I cannot promise humor.. I cannot even promise any consistency in posts... But, maybe just maybe someday Carolyn will read this and know just how much her Mommy loves her and just how amazing she is to me.